Oh man guys, I’m suffering… my eczema has been so painful lately.  I hate this stage where I can barely turn my head and there’s so much pain that a gust of wind scares me.  There are urges to cry and scream at the same time and just beg for mercy while you’re also just extremely angry and frustrated.  Today I tried to sleep some of that pain away and it helped.

MM says I have to cut fat.  Since I last weight myself at 138 lbs and can still hold handfuls of my gut, I can stand to lose some.  That should help me from feeling like I’m deprived or something.  Plus it’d be nice to have a hot body.  I’ve done cleanses before so it’s totally doable to refrain from eating fat until late lunch or dinner. The asks seem very reasonable.  I guess I’m going to sleep more.  Seems like my body really needs it.

identity diversification

Word on Tony Robbins, I hear you.  The case of the finance guy made me feel sad.

The measuring sticks of self worth:  professional success, smart, make lots of money, excellent family member: daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, friend; nerdy, sexy

Over-identification with work.  Even given all the things I do as I have diversified my identity so to speak, I Feel my value is still heavily weighted with my work.

Diversity:  I know a lot about different cultures and I have a collection of very interesting and wide experiences.  I’m a crafter, salsa dancer, yoga practitioner, technologist, consultant, people person, a really good friend, p.  Areas I’d like to invest more:  dance (hip hop), finance, business, music)

What do you care about?


Listening to your body.  My body is constantly telling me things.  I need to listen to it.  Work together and gain agreement into doing things.  You may naturally be doing this or it can be really subtle.  Things like not wanting to sleep vs keeping your eyes open to stay awake.  Nuances and details matter and what you pay attention and do affect your performance in the long run.  This may not be as easy as it appears.

A list of the most random jobs I’ve had

  1. Math / Science / History / English language / writing tutor ($0-$45 / hr)
  2. Holiday retail – gift wrapping ($10/hr)
  3. Retail associate for a clothing store
  4. Retail associate for a sporting goods store
  5. Retail associate for a specialty gift shop
  6. Hotel pbx operator + front desk
  7. College campus cafeteria / food server and cashier
  8. Engineering Assistant / Hardware assembly worker
  9. English language conversation, group and individual tutoring
  10. Wedding planner / day of coordinator
  11. Cake baker (my friend wanted to pay me to do a bday cake for her daughter)
  12. Craft / Card class instructor
  13. Yoga instructor
  14. Nutrition + Supplements (MLM)
  15. Wickless candles (MLM)
  16. Homemade greeting card sales / fair booths / etsy
  17. Calligraphy wedding invitation writer
  18. Jewelry + repair sales
  19. Artwork sales (ceramics, drawings)
  20. Consultant
  21. Security Professional
  22. UX research study group
  23. Matchmaking Service – Speed Dating facilitator


  1. My first and favorite type of role.  Since I started so young, it wasn’t even work to me.  I really enjoyed it.  One on one tutoring.  It’s also something I’m pretty good at.
  2. Boring.  I like to gift wrap things but I spent most of that time passing out boxes.
  3. This was for a very messy store.  I also got locked in one time and someone ate all the popcorn I brought in the communal kitchen.  like savages.
  4. I liked learning about all the different equipment you’d need for sports like golf gloves and fishing licenses and heart rate monitors.  I had to take a math test that I felt very confident about prior to hire.  It was an easy / fun gig.
  5. I really liked this job.  This was part of my wedding industry research series.  Part of my role was to help customers with their crafting needs and I was really good at it.  I got praised multiple times and even invited to an art event.  Some women were just blown away by my solutions where they were wow’ed and just very appreciative.  I was also really good at sales because I would get super into some of the products and do demos.  That glitter sparkle pen was sold out a lot because of me.  I didn’t care for the manual labor or restocking or having to set up tables the way corporate sent these impossible pictures of items floating in the air as if we were supposed to mimic them exactly.  I didn’t care to participate in incentive programs to win a $10 gift card for the month nor did I feel pressure to hit sales goals.  This job was easy and stress free.  On my down time, I could color and make things at the craft table and show customers as they came in.  The products were interesting.  I thought it’d be fun to be a purchaser where I’d get to pick out items to have in the store.  I’d travel the world for that or maybe even get things made.  The customers were always interesting and never too difficult.
  6. Easy.  Talking / customer service is my forte.  I just got bored so I started to learn a little bit of front desk work when they let me.  I think that was preferable because I didn’t really like being trapped in a small room with a blinking light for 8 hrs / day.   The only other interesting jobs to me there were accounting manager (he was always stressed out and like mean), event planner (she seemed pretty happy although I didn’t like the idea of cleaning up after people), and/or general manager (he was always on travel).
  7. It was just a college job that went on too long.  I learned how to be really good at food prep – salad, fruit, pizza, sandwiches, fryer, hot food.  The cook let me experiment sometimes.  Otherwise it can be dirty and labor intensive and you can get burned if you’re not careful.  There are a lot of hazards in the kitchen.
  8. I got to work with power tools and build sh*t.  I learned some neat hacks and tricks.  I also worked with really old technology.  I didn’t completely understand the research but I could build things and I liked my boss. Other than being in lab and making stuff, you could hit the beach and surf on your break and/or listen to the radio all day.  It was very chill but a bit boring.  I missed some social aspect other than the 3 other guys in my lab.  I probably should have taken a hint when I showed up dressed for the interview where these guys couldn’t have cared less.  It got me out of the food service industry and more into my area of study anyway.  It was actually pretty cool.
  9. This is similar to #1.  The English language component is interesting.  I learned a lot about foreigners and different cultures which was fascinating in and of itself.  You also learn the American language and every day speech is quite flawed.
  10. This required a lot of organization and dealing with personalities, sometimes drunk ones.  Not my favorite type of group when you’re trying to herd cats and know that the blame would fall on you if the cake toppled.  I prefer the planning part of coming up with a theme and decorations.  I did an amazing job scrapbooking at the photo booth.  I was so professional, couples were lucky to have those memorable moments done in a way where it wasn’t drunk people gluing crap over each other’s photos.  You’re welcome.
  11. I’m counting this because I’m a pretty good cake decorator.  I’ve been trained.  And my cakes are pretty good too.
  12. I liked this role.  Designing cards for a class was kind of fun when I had to plan out what I wanted them to learn and what I think my audience/age group would enjoy.  I didn’t care for the manual labor of assembling kits and cutting paper but it wasn’t a big deal.  It’s just a lot of prep work went into it before the class even started.  It doesn’t really make it worth it financially.  You do it cuz it’s fun and you like it and you can make a little money on the side but not really.
  13. I need more experience with this one.  I didn’t get to the point of getting paid.  I did some volunteer hours.  I’m not sure I’m a fan of bodywork.  A lot can happen.  I know how I like my classes set up but this one would require more experience on my own to determine how I really feel about pursuing this.  Yoga practice and yoga teaching is different.  I think I’d prefer teaching a small class as opposed to a large one.
  14. Eh boring.  You need to eat right first.  It’s hard to really measure how well something is working in this category.
  15. I also got a little medal for hitting the target sales goal within 3 months of joining.  Apparently it’s uncommon.  I really liked this product.  I also felt their products were getting better over time which was impressive.  I think it’s a little hard to sustain long term, only selling these cande-like items.  You have to always be looking for new buyers.  It’s also more of a luxury item which didn’t really appeal to my utilitarian senses.
  16. Fun.  Free reign to make any and all the types of cards I want.  People like my stuff so they buy.  That’s a good thing.  It’s fun to come up learn new techniques.  There’s a surprising amount of things you can do with very little.  The creating part is fun.  The sales part is not so much because I wasn’t producing at a high enough scale to make it more than just a hobby.  I looked into many ideas but did not feel they were really worth pursuing.  Again, the utilitarian needs vs. luxury seemed to stop me.
  17. This was a job I helped commission for my sister.  She made so many mistakes, it cut deeply into any profit we earned since each envelope was surprisingly costly.  Luckily, my penmanship wasn’t too bad and I was able to help out with less mistakes.  I think I could have taken this on myself but her writing is nicer.
  18. I was told I was really good at jewelry design.  Even better than a card maker.  I believe it was just my audience.  My mom is actually very good but I do believe I have a bit of a knack for it as well.  I’ve been paid more to fix things but TBH I don’t really sell much of my jewelry.  I make it mostly for me and I get lots of compliments.
  19. Completely unintentional, people have asked to buy my work.  This is a good sign.  It means I make stuff people want.  I also seem to have an eye for commercial product.  Note to self:  Keep this in mind.
  20. This is my bread and butter.  It’s what I’ve been trained to do.  I got very good at my job but it requires a good team with good support.  It’s no one man show, at least not what I was doing.  Building teams can be tough.
  21. Same as #20.  Really no different except I didn’t have supported teams and an extensive network the way I used to.  This can vastly differ from job to job.  Need to explore.
  22. This was really fun.  You sign a form saying you will not disclose any of the research and then you get to play with product.  You’re asked all these questions and you feel like a spoiled brat to get it to figure things out and make it do what you want (or hope to).
  23. Sighhh.  No comment.

There you have it.  Roughly 23 jobs.  Any take aways?

Common themes:

  • Sales / Customer Service / People oriented
  • Creative / crafty / artsy / design oriented / product
  • Tech / engineering
  • Learning / growth / teaching
  • Needs based vs luxury based

Audience is important.  Team / support is important.  Being creative and innovative is important.

S. Money

Ok so I got super inspired to write about money hold myself accountable and get this *stuff* under control.

In order for me, S. Money, to become a millionaire, I pledge to do the following (each year):

  • Get a main gig
  • Max out my 401 (k).
  • Max out my Roth IRA
  • Have a side hustle
  • Sell unwanted stuff on craigslist
  • Save/invest 20% of take home paycheck
  • Main income
  • Invest $16,500
  • Invest $5,500 
  • (determine $ value)
  • TBD/priceless feeling of getting rid of stuff
  • Do #1 first

That would mean a total of <$18,000/year if I could pull that off.  Using a millionaire calculator with a conservative interest of 4%, I will see reach <$1 Million in approx. 17 years.

This means I will become a millionaire by the time I’m 52.

Too damn old imo.  If I can maintain this I’d have $2M by the time I retire which is closer to where I’d want to be anyway.  That’s also if nothing at all changes in my life and given my midlife crisis and goals really, that’s going to change.  I can’t even meet that bar right now given the fun-employment situation.  That’s ok.  I have start somewhere and this is it.  Pocket at least $18K per year for retirement.  Noted.

material change

Someone once told me an apology didn’t matter if it didn’t warrant a change in behavior. Otherwise it was essentially a “sorry but not sorry.”  This person’s attitude was, “if you’re sorry, prove it.  Show me you meant it.”  I took these words to heart when I realized I must’ve really hurt the person for them to say this to me and sympathized the frustration he might’ve felt.

I also realized when I came across a similar situation where I was in his shoes, I found I was quite challenged in my ability to forgive.

Ideals may be for the youth while age, wisdom, and self identity speaks closer to the reality I presently choose to live by.  I’m sad but I believe it’s the right path forward.

Fun Friday

I came across this interesting TED talk today.  Check it out:

I like that he’s a toy maker and his job is to come up with fun toys all day.  I’ve played the bubble game.  At first it seems pointless and random but it gets addicting.  Every so often it will make a random noise.  Amazing how easily we can be entertained, lol.

Exercise of the day:  Play Shiritori or make up a fun game that’d be cool.

I think the guitar toothbrush idea is cute.  A fun way to trick kids into doing things they should do.  I guess it works on adults too.

Phone convo

Lady:  Have you had any of the following disqualifiers?  Felony violations
Me:  No
Lady:  Theft
Me:  No
Lady:…I’ll send you the list, it’s quite long.
Me:  Ok, I’ll take a look.  I think it’s safe to say I’m in the clear.
Lady:  Yeah I”m sure you haven’t assaulted anyone today… although some people need to be.
Me:  LOL
Lady:  I’m just teasing of course.
(Lady, you made my day!)